Pimp N’ Ho Sensational Party of All Time
In an upscale mansion off of Beverly Drive, a full scale Pimp n’ ho party was in full swing.
Yes, that’s right; out of the one hundred and fifty white people that were there wearing their trashy-flashy overblown pimp n’ ho outfits, three of them were celebrities; Gary Busey, Lindsay Lohan and Sienna Miller.
“Yo mother fucker, this is not gangster enough nigga” complained Jordan. He was a UCLA sophomore that was throwing the party to his best friend and cohort, fellow UCLA student, Drew, who was studying to be an attorney to the stars and checking out Lindsay Lohan’s G-string.
Yes, that is all she had shown up in. at present, she was twerking up and down against an old timer and Hugh Hefner impersonator.
Party guests holding Hennessey and cokes and smoking blunts were laughing as Lindsay Lohan thought the old timer was the real deal-Hugh Hefner and didn’t even realize that the man had died more than a year prior.
“Man, wigger. You didn’t fuckin hear me” complained Jordan. “This shit ain’t gangster enough.”
“Problem solved bra” said the attorney to be-Drew, taking out his gun, flailing it and firing off several rounds.
Women screamed, while several people bolted in various directions, with three people down and trampled right away. Several shattered glasses ricocheted in the courtyard as well, as if a morbid mirroring to the gunfire.
Jordan got on the mic. “Yo, yo, mother fuckers! We in da fool swing now. Only pussies run out on us.”
Drew fired a few more rounds up in the air, then into the crowd.
“Dance mother fuckas!” Jordan signaled the D.J. that was still alive to crank it up with a real gangster tune.
Fellow UCLA student and freshman bartender, Doug came around with a cart of Hennessey. And passed the bottles around to the crowd who was starting to decompress and relax once again, a few bloodied up just a bit.
“Drink motherfuckas!” ordered Jordan. “Fuck yo ho’s-niggas! Let’s get this fucker started or I’ll drive by and kill you all at your grandmothas houses!”
The gangster rap at full throttle, partyers danced or tried to, as a few were injured, with one trying desperately to hold the blood squirting out of his elbow, having caught one of the gunfire rounds.
The old timer and Hefner lookalike was taking down Lindsay Lohan’s thong, but his denture got caught in it and he pulled away toothless.
Lindsay continued to dance, thong halfway down her ass, with the set of teeth hanging in there.
A woman fell over on some broken glass on her face, blood gushing everywhere. From the distance sirens were heard. Only a couple partyers heard and made a rush to the exit. Everyone else was getting too drunk and stoned to notice or care.
A pimp threw a bunch of fake hundreds over Lindsey Lohan and she basked in it. A party guest sobbed over her dead gunshot boyfriend.
There was a brawl forming between three guys and a fat chick; a guy puking in the corner and Jordan screaming at the top of his lungs into the mic, as gangster rap blasted and thumped.
“Niggas this is the fucking shit!”
“Fuck the police!” chimed in Drew as LAPD entered the premises.
“Party’s over people!” barked a male officer.
“We need a medic” noted a second officer, rushing to the aide of the bloody faced woman.
“Fuck the LAP-PD!” yelled a guest and Drew exhaled a big cloud of marijuana smoke on the first cop that had spoken as two more cops and a med team came trailing in.
The attorney to be got cuffed immediately. They also cuffed Lindsay Lohan, who began screaming and kicking. And she had to be hog tied.
“Oh my God. She’s got somebody’s denture in her G-string” said a female officer.
“What is this?” asked a male cop, as guests began to get serious and pay attention to what he was walking toward. In the middle of the dance floor, Sienna Miller thrust up and down on a man, unawares of anything. She didn’t stop, even seemed encouraged with the crowd upon her.
“Awesome!” she gasped. “Some of you dressed like cops! Ooh, I want to fuck one of you next. OMG” she squealed near climax.
“Usually, guys can’t stay hard for me, but this guy is stiff as a boulder, uh, uh, uh!”
“That’s because he’s dead lady” said the female officer. A med rushed up immediately and verified this with a grim nod. At once, Sienna Miller clamped off of the stiff and screamed bloody murder. She duly got cuffed along with Drew, who was stupidly trying to fight a couple big pair of cops.
“What a fuckin party gangstas!”
“Shut the fuck up” ordered an LAPD officer. “This is the last mother fuckin party of your mother fuckin life. Do you fuckin hear me mother fucker?”
“Fuck me” affirmed Drew. “You think I can still practice law one day?”
“Beats the fuck out of me” said the officer shoving him toward the exit of the courtyard. “Man slaughter charges, serving alcohol to minors and holding pimp n’ ho party’s. Maybe they’ll let you defend the drudgery of society.”
“Like these stars at our party?” asked Drew excitedly, “Lindsay Lohan, Gary Busey and Sienna Miller?”
“Yeah, like these stars” snickered the copy and the rest of the LAPD laughed sarcastically.
“All right. Let’s wrap this bitch up” said the commanding officer. “Gather all the booze, drugs and marijuana and divvy it up in our trunks. And let’s get these mother fuckers off to jail where they belong.”